i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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