mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
