It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
