just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
