You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
