I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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