So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
