I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So much Jack, so little girl.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
