Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
