you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
