Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
