"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
tell me about the fingering
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
