your room smells of hookers.
And success
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
