I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
