I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm passing your future prison.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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