i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
