is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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