Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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