i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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