you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
