I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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