Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
