and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
