ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm like, not good at living.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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