After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize