Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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