this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
