Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
