What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
