oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
