So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
