I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
