So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
