The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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