It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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