Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
cat food counts as protein by the way
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
