No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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