You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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