was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This is classic penis vs brain.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
