I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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