i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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