Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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