happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
