Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
