I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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