Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize