Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
