You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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