Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I bet he comes in French.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
