We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize