I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
