There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
