In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
