Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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