im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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