Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize