Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
