i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
