If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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