I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
