STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
