I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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