12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
