Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
